Why Do You Get Migraines? (It's Not Your Fault, and You're Not Alone)

If you ever lay in a dark room wondering what you did to deserve this — nothing. You did nothing. Let's clear a few things up, because I think a lot of us carry guilt about our migraines that we don't deserve.

Quick note: I'm a lifelong migraine sufferer and a mitpachat designer, not a doctor. This is lived experience and general info — for anything medical, please talk to your neurologist.

Migraine is neurological. Full stop.

Migraine is not “just a bad headache,” and it's not a sign that you're weak, dramatic, or bad at coping. It's a neurological disorder — a difference in how your brain and nervous system process the world, where your senses run turned-up-to-eleven when they shouldn't. When you have an attack, that's your neurology doing its thing, not your character failing.

It often runs in the family

Migraine has a strong hereditary streak — it frequently runs in families, which means for many of us it's written into our wiring from the start. You didn't cause it. You inherited a sensitive, and honestly kind of remarkable, nervous system.

Triggers aren't the same as blame

Here's the distinction that set me free: your triggers are not the cause. The underlying condition is the cause, and you didn't create that. A trigger is just something that can set off an attack in a brain that's already wired for it. So when you eat the wrong yogurt or don't sleep enough and a migraine comes, that's information, not a verdict. And remember — not every trigger is your trigger, just like not every problem in the world has to be your problem.

You are so far from alone

Migraine is one of the most common neurological conditions on the planet — hundreds of millions of people live with it. When you're in the dark room, it can feel isolating and small. It is neither. There's a whole quiet community (and we are getting louder, BTW) of us out here, getting dressed anyway, showing up for our people anyway, tucking ice packs into our mitpachot and carrying on.

So let me say it plainly, the way I'd want someone to say it to me on a bad day: it's not your fault. You're not weak. You're not failing. You have a neurological condition, and you are managing it in an imperfect world that Hashem made imperfect on purpose. That's not a moral failing — that's just Tuesday. Be as gentle with yourself as you'd be with a friend. Or with a good mitpachat.

It's not okay right now, but it will be — in a bitachon way.

On the hard days and the good ones: The Sprkly is here for it.