Covering in Times of War.

"Chooka chooka chooka BEEEEP"

Another warning woke her up. She placed her pre wrapped Sprkly Hetzi over her bun, tucking in the sides of her hair and smooshing to the shape of her head. Then her shoes, a baby carrier, a baby, and a jacket/scarf. Her husband rallies the "big kids", aged three and six, in the other room.

They walk downstairs, speaking clearly and gently so that the kids know where they are and mirror behaviors somehow. The neighbors emerge from their homes, and all convene underground, another two flights of stairs, in the Public Miklat. Even people with a mamad (safe room in their home) come underground because ballistic missiles are no joke.

Once downstairs, its a balagan. She follows behind her husband and children to avoid waking the baby. The neighborhood is packed inside a room that is also used as a shul. In the chaos, her family finds her with ease due to the big mitpachat on her head. Sometimes there are "booms" overhead, and very rarely there are big impacts that they feel in their teeth. More recently, the interceptions occurred over Dimona, a few towns over. They treat every alert as a neutral event, neither good nor bad. 20 to 30 minutes later, they go home, relieved and a little annoyed at the interruption.

There is something to be said about a "Safe Space". In the West, a safe space is for emotional safety for snowflakey folk with thin skin. In Israel, it is a bomb shelter, or for my family, a public miklat across the street. For my children, it's me. I'm the miklat, in the emotional and physical sense.

We observe a certain seder: mealtimes, lessons, work blocs, play blocs, etc. so that when the unexpected happens, we have a better idea how to return to our regularly scheduled lives. It does not always work, but it doesn't need to be perfect.

This is what we do to move forward, but how do we get to the mindset to follow through? What gives your family the strength to carry on with the comforting minutia of life when the outside world feels crazy and overstimulating? For us, it's maintaining our Shalom Bayit, also known as "Happy wife, happy life". How I show up sets the tone for my husband, children, and sets the standard for my family to my neighbors and community. If I am agitated, so are they. If I am calm, they can chill out.

For me, it's showing up how my children recognize me, in a way that identifies myself as a wife, mother, and religious Jew: I wear a mitpachat.

There have been times that I have worn a cap, beret, or even just my hoodie over my head, and while that does the job, it isn't how I usually present myself, which throws off my kids. When my family sees that Imma put on her mitpachat and doesn't look rushed, they realize that they can slow down and focus on their intention. The Sprkly on my head is a grounding force for my family, because it is a grounding force for me. When I can cover my head, I can bring the Shalom Bayit and then save the world. Probably.

For the last three weeks, my kids have been home and really loud. Right now, my husband is managing the whole lot while I attempt to scavenge any business at all to pay a neglected electric bill. It is 10:55 am on Yom Rishon (Sunday). I sent work e-mails, updated shared drives, and laughed instead of cried at my current bank balances.

The world keeps turning and the booms keep booming. And through it all, if you have the safe space in your soul that connects to the world around you, then you can be a miklat for the the ones that you love. Whether you cover your head or not.